Odisseus’ Mom

I’ve been dreaming to publish a book written by me. The story itself I believe would be a simple yet interesting one. It could be a story about me, my family, enriched by many occasions, thoughts, conversations, and opinions I have with the environment around me. I wouldn’t really care about how many people would read or buy the book I wrote, silly huh? All I want as a start is only to write a nice and simple story about me and my life.
I asked my husband this evening as we drove home, “Do you think I’m capable and qualified to write a book?”
He answered, “Yes, of course, why not?”
“What you’ve been telling in your blog, according to me, deserve to be published as a book.” he added to my question.
I smiled for having his kind and full-of-believe answer. I hope that he gave me a real objective answer, and I want to believe that he did.
I asked him that question after we stopped by at a book shop this evening on our way home. I was looking for a book of guidance about “How to tell a story” or “How to write your own story”. Luckily, I found a book written by Marion Dan Bauer “What’s Your Story?” in which I think I would get some practical guidances in starting to write my own story and book.
Don’t know about tomorrow, but I want to stick and keep fighting to the idea that I could publish my own story. Please God, help me to complete my dream.

Ya, itulah salah satu alasan utama mengapa aku melanjutkan aktivitas menulis dalam blog ini. Sempat selama kurang lebih setahun lamanya aku meninggalkan aktivitas ini. Hidup dan ritmeku kusibukkan dengan berbagai aktivitas bersama anak, mengurus rumah tangga, dan bekerja. Terlebih saat itu kami baru saja pindah menempati rumah baru. Ketidakadaan pembantu rumah tangga maupun baby sitter yang sebelumnya lebih dari 2 tahun kugunakan jasanya—di mana ketika aku pulang menuntut ilmu di negeri orang, kuputuskan tidak lagi kugunakan jasanya—membuat hari-hariku penuh dengan pelbagai kesibukan umumnya ala ibu rumah tangga.

Boleh kukatakan, masa-masa itu adalah masa “penebusan”ku setelah sekian lama berada jauh dari keluarga. Kuakui, tidak ada yang meminta “penebusan” semacam itu dariku, diriku sendirilah yang menginginkannya demi untuk dapat mereguk kembali waktu-waktuku yang terlewati sebagai seorang ibu, mendekatkan diri kembali pada buah hati kecilku yang belum pernah mengalami berulang tahun bersama Ibundanya selama dua tahun pertama kehidupannya.

Keletihan setelah berkutat dengan semua itu ditambah dengan ketidakadaaan akses internet di rumah baru kami membuatku memiliki tambahan alasan untuk tidak melanjutkan memperbarui blogku. Sempat pula terpikir suatu pikiran egois, bahwa aku sudah cukup puas bisa menikmati semuanya bersama anakku saja, mengganti hari-hari kami berdua yang terlewatkan dan menjadikannya hanya milik kami berdua tanpa perlu membaginya melalui satu kisah pada orang lain.

Namun tidak ada yang pernah dapat menjadi statis untuk selamanya, begitu juga dengan aktivitas menulis dan berkisah di blogku. Keinginan untuk menulis dan kembali aktif di dunia maya telah datang menggelitik kembali sisi hatiku. Kenangan akan masa-masa di mana aku selalu merekam aktivitas dan pertumbuhan anakku dalam blog, sibuk menerbitkan buletin komunikasi muslimah di Belanda via blog, serta menuangkan kegelisahan yang kurasa dalam jalinan kata-kata kembali menggodaku untuk menjadi dan memberi “sesuatu” di dunia maya melalui kisahku.

Ya, aku menulis kembali karena aku gelisah akan banyak hal, tentang apa yang dapat aku berikan untuk terus membimbing anak kami, tentang kapan aku akan memutuskan untuk memberi seorang adik bagi anak pertamaku, tentang harga bahan baker yang meningkat, tentang apa kebaikan yang akan aku wariskan pada anak-anakku kelak, tentang semangat untuk terus berusaha menjadi yang lebih baik, tentang masa depan kami, tentang pertanyaan apakah apakah yang aku usahakan saat ini dapat mencapai satu titik keberhasilan, tentang keinginan untuk terus mandiri, dan seribu satu tentang lainnya. Aku ingin menjadi diriku sendiri dan menerapi diriku untuk membuang banyak kegelisahan melalui jalinan kata.

In this life, what would you consider as staring at heaven? Well, I guess we’ll have a million of answers as heaven could be defined in many terms depends on our opinion and situation. If I should answer to that question, among other things I really love to do or see, I will have to answer that staring at heaven to me means that I stay at home at night looking at my son’s peaceful and innocent face while he is sleeping. I would never want to end such moment, my hunger for such moment is insatiable and really want to stay forever to enjoy such beautiful view. That is a real heaven for me.

A long time before Ody was born, my husband and I had a kind of agreement that we’d like our first child to be a boy. As time went by, Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT fulfilled our pray by giving us a cute little boy. And as he grows up, we have been amazed by every thing our little one do, he is now three and a half year and can do much more an adult can do or think.

One of my biggest gratefulness of having him is that he is not only become our little son, in which me and my husband give our care, protection, and love and at the same time he is also able to treat and give us the same thing. For example, a few months ago, when my husband left for a couple of weeks for a job outside Jakarta. As we live in Cimanggis, being lonesome away from friend and relatives sometimes become a matter and of course when my husband needed to do travel for his job it would left the two of us: me and Ody at home. But guess what? Having Ody right at my side never makes me feel lonesome or even a bit afraid at night being “alone”. He really can act as a good buddy for his mommy, caring and accompanying me during our time together.

We can do many games or puzzles, watch tv at night to kill our time, coloring picture and make some draws on his little drawing book, went to a mall or bookstore at noon, listen to music from the radio or tv, and share some stories before bedtime. Oh God, I could never imagine that having a little boy could really mean that much, and for a couple of times I would consider that instead of me taking care of him, it is Ody taking care of and accompanying me passing through my hard and lonesome times. Thank God for letting me feel such miracle in life, and please teach me to be a patient and better parents for our children.

Ody likes to draw many things lately and his ability to skecth an image and add color upon it is getting better and better. One night, he enjoyed playing with his deletable drawing tool. He said, “Look Ibu, I draw a turtle” as he showed me his drawing tool. I was kind of smiling to see his picture and suprised by his imagination of a turtle.

The second one he scketched was a whale, it look big, with round eyes, and small fin at the back.

And the last one was a snake, “Ibu, look I made a snake and put it inside a shell”, as he showed me his tool. I barely hide my smile seeing his third masterpiece. 

As Ody told me he drew a snake, I got remembering a book, “Little Prince” written by a French writer. It happened when the Little Prince’s friend made a picture of a snake eating an elephant, elder people around him confirmed that instead of a an elephant inside a snake’s tummy, it was a picture of a hat. Such affirmation made a bit disapointment inside him about how elderly think and appreciate towards something. I tried not to be those kind of elderly since it may hurt Ody’s feeling, yet I keep believing it really was the best he can imagine about a creature.

However, something did cross my mind when I saw Ody’s picture, “Hmmm… it’s not only look like a snake, but it also look like ….” Do you think what I think? 

 

Duh keknya perlu segera update blog lagi nih, tapi hiks… waktunya minim banget  Selalu ada aja tugas2 lain yang minta didahuluin dan akhirnya ketika tugas-tugas itu udah kelar tinggal badanku nagih minta istirahat. Padahal sih pengennya update perkembangannya Ody, biasalah, apalagi yang paling seru diceritain sebagai seorang ibu selain pengalaman bersama anak.

Ody tuh ngomongnya banyak banget alias cerewet banget, sampe bingung deh kadang mikirnya, “Koq nih anak ga capek ya ngomong mulu?” Lha wong gw aja sebagai ibunya, terkadang capek sendiri nimpalin pertanyaan-pertanyaannya. Misalnya gini nih, waktu Sabtu kemarin kita berdua ke ITC Depok, setelah berputar-putar beberapa lantai, akhirnya baru deh dapet tempat parkir.

Ibu, “Duh, Ibu capek nih muter-muter nyari tempat parkir, pada penuh semuanya…”
Ody, “Iya, tapi Ibu nggak boleh parkir sembarangan. Kan nanti kalo parkir sembarangan, ban mobilnya digembok.” Ibu, “Haah… (dengan nada penuh heran plus takjub), Ody tau dari mana kalo parkir sembarangan ntar mobilnya digembok?”
Ody, “Itu dari tivi, kan katanya begitu. Ody makanya nggak suka kalo parkir sembarangan, Ody sebel..! (dengan nada jengkel sama mobil-mobil yang suka parkir sembarangan)”
Ibu, “Oh gitu, iya.. iya.. Ibu juga nggak suka dan nggak mau koq parkir sembarangan. Ibu maunya parkir di tempatnya.”

Anak gw, udah segitunya ngerti. Iya donk, kalo anak umur 3,5 tahun aja udah ngerti arti ketertiban dan kerapihan, masa kita mau terus berlama-lama dengan kondisi begitu. Malu donk sama anak-anak. Tapi Pemda DKI juga harus konsisten sama peraturan juga dan gak pandang bulu kali ya, terus parkir-parkir liar juga harusnya ditertibkan donk. Kayak yang di JCC, Senayan, duh banyak amat tuh tukang parkir liar yang tarifnya ampun… ngambil kesempatan banget. Ya begitulah Ody yang cerewet, tahun ini insyaAllah dia masuk TK A, setelah 2 tahun bermain di playgroup.

Oya tapi semuanya itu kan emang harusnya disyukuri aja ya… iya lah… diambil positifnya, sebab anak kita bisa bersikap kritis sama lingkungannya jadi banyak nanya. Mudah-mudahan gw sebagai emaknya, bisa terus sabar dan Ody juga terus belajar. Amin.

It’s been quite a while since the last time I wrote something on this memorable blog. A new beginning has come and time is now. As was intended at the first time I developed this blog, I shall write something again to mark and remember all those fruitfuil times I share with Ody and his daddy again. Yes, I got to start a new beginning now….

God, it’s been more than one month already since my last post in this blog. Time really flies, especially when the deadline is coming But wait, before we talk about the deadline, which actually was due last Monday, let me refresh my memories back to four weeks ago.

I recall many things during those weeks: doing sholat Ied in Masjid Al Hikmah (which was the first time for me, since last year I wasn’t able to do it due to the exam)–God, it felt like home, being able to do sholat Ied with muslims in The Hague. Two days after, went for a holiday in Italy–which was the longest holidays I’ve ever had! We spent 9 days in Italy, visiting 6 cities: Milano, Venice (such a romantic and beautiful city, and full of interesting souvenirs of course! :P), Naples (Napoli), Rome, Firenze (Florence, which is to my opinion was the second best city after Venice), and Pisa. We went back to The Hague on Nov 2nd, and guess what? Our research paper deadline was on Nov 20th–such a crazy huh, to have 9 days of holidays in the middle of those rush..;-) But I really did enjoy those 9 days in Italy, though I had to keep on working on my paper in every spare times I had (in the hotels and in the trains).

Stepping our feet back in The Hague, the weather was completely different compared to Italy where we had 9 days of sunshines. The Hague was then very cold for us, we needed to adjust to it, additionally, there was really no time for us to breathe also, since the clock’s ticking felt louder here. My chaper 5 and 6 were still a blank. We worked really hard to be able to meet the RP deadline. Thank God in the last week, I really got my data sets done (after almost 1,5 months of being puzzled and stressed). I met my supervisor to report this and asked for his suggestions for my next steps, then got back to work with my regressions. In the last days, I met my supervisors like three days in a row, and the on Friday I decided to continue to write my analysis (knock.. knock… time was running). The last week was really like a climax of the ups and downs situation, ups ’coz sometimes I felt optimistic, but downs as well ‘coz I was also stressed and felt like didn’t know whereelse to go to get my RP done;  and the bitter and sweet feeling, bitter ‘coz the time was getting up, but on the other hand, it was also sweet ‘coz I knew soon enough all these craziness would end.

I had 3 friends in my room worked as well on their RP. One of them is my Roomie, Herni; one is Kay who got no place to go since her roomate finished her RP earlier and went home for good one week before the submission; and one is Dina who moved temporarily to our place to make herself had enough concentration working on her RP (fyi, she could not do it in her own place). Well, what could we say? Both of them are our friends, we could not refused them, we welcomed them in our place and been generous enough to make some space for them and allow them put all their stuffs in our room. Consequently, our room was totally a mess, literally. But none of us had time to give it a damn, we had to keep on writing and writing and thinking the rest of our RPs.

Thank God, by the time the subsmission came, we could finished our RP and submitted them on time, what a relief…:-) Up until now our room is still a mess, though, since we begin to unload our cabinets and cupboard, sort our stngs, and pack them in boxes, and finally going to send them home by the end of this week. I think we can start to clean and put everthing in our place in its place again right by the beginning of next week.

Later this afternoon, I also talked to Ody after 6 days being in ignorance of him. My dear poor son, he had to suffer for not being able to communicate with me due to my hectic schedule, as I was also suffered for being such an ignorance and resisted all my feelings for him. We talked much this afternoon, I sang him songs, he listened and then asked for another one. Can you imagine, at 9 in the evening he still awake and being very cheerful. By the time I should hung up my call, I told him to go to bed and say a prayer, and promised to call him back tomorrow. I told him a got to go ‘coz I need to pump my bike before it’s getting dark here, and do you know what was his answer to this? “Mommy, my bike is also need to be pumped ‘coz the tires are flat”. God, alhamdulillah for giving me such a wonderful boy in his 24 months he’s already been able to communicate fluently.

Well, got to go now, I still need to work on my other schedule: reading four of high-marked essays of ISS students. The Scholas editorial committe is working to publish a book contains of collections of students’ best essays which were done in our last term. I had no idea how and why the editorial committee chose me to be one of the grader whose task is to give score on the essays based on some specific criterias, what I realized was I already said yes to them then. Therefore, they assign me four essays to be read and given score based on criterias have been designed beforehand, and all of these will be due tomorrow. Hopefully, by the graduation time in the mid of December, this committee will already realize a book-printed form of these essays.   

Assalaamu’alaikum wr wb,
 
Teman dan sahabat sekalian, seiring datangnya fajar suci di hari kemenangan Idul Fitri 1427 H, izinkan saya beserta keluarga mengucapkan:
 
“Taqobalallahu minna wa minkum, minal aidin wal faidzin“. 

Semoga Allah SWT menerima kumpulan amal ibadah kita di bulan yang penuh rahmat ini. Mohon dibukakan pintu maaf atas segala kekhilafan lidah maupun laku yang terjadi selama terbinanya jalinan silaturahim. Semoga Allah SWT berkenan menyandangkan gelar hamba yang bertaqwa untuk kita semua di akhir Ramadhan ini.

Wassalaamu’alaikum wr wb,
Endah, Maddar, & Ody 

Ibu lagi males nih nulis di blog, dan biasanya Ayah nanya, “Ada update ga?” Kemarin Ayah request supaya foto2 Ody yang kemarin dikirim di-upload. Ya udah jadi deh Ibu kerjain titipan Ayah tersebut. Kemarin kan Ibu udah up-load foto2 pas ultah Ibu, sekarang saatnya Ibu juga nampilin foto2 Ody yang terbaru. Kalo mau ikutan ngintip, silakan klik di sini aja ya…