Odisseus’ Mom

This one presents our two last songs. 

A song for our teachers….

Mau liat anak2 Indo di ISS lagi “perform” pas Asian Week ga? Kita nyanyi beberapa lagu, salah satunya lagu “Ampar-ampar Pisang” dari Kalimantan. Dari kiri ke kanan: Kristian, Fany, Endah, Kay, Avi, Adrian. Gitar: Dina. Video: Chrysant (pake hape). Eventnya sekitar bulan Juni 2006 di Atrium ISS pas lunch time. Kalo suaranya bikin telinga sakit harap dimaafkan dan dimaklumi aja yah, soale ga pake latihan serius.

Hari ini usiaku genap 28 tahun. Rasanya sejak tinggal “sendiri” di Belanda ini banyak hal baru, pelajaran tentang hidup yang aku dapet. Teman2 baru, sahabat, dan saudara yang ga pernah terbayang bakal aku dapatkan sebanyak ini di sini juga ikut hadir dan nambahin banyak warna di kehidupanku.

Tahun lalu, kali pertama aku harus berulang tahun jauh “sendiri” waktunya pun sama2 jatuh di bulan Ramadhan. Beberapa hari sebelumnya aku nangis di kamar karena kangen sama Ody. Dan aku inget kemudian aku dihibur sama Dina. Sehari sebelum aku ultah tahun suami udah ngasih sms ucapan selamat ultah, “Semoga semakin bijak”, begitu isi smsnya. Walopun kecepatan satu hari, tapi gapapa. Kemudian tepat pas hari ultahku, aku sendirian di kamar sambil menikmati makan malam setelah buka puasa. Tiba2 pintu kamarku diketuk, ternyata Ita. Dia ngajakin aku turun ke lantai bawah. Aku bilang, “Males Ta, gw lagi makan nih”. Tapi Ita kekeuh ngajakin turun sebentar aja. Ya udah deh, aku nurut karena janji katanya cuma sebentar. Ternyata di ruang bawah teman2 dan juga senior dah pada ngumpul trus pas aku dateng mereka langsung nyanyiin “Happy Birthday” plus ada kue taart n lilinnya juga. Duh, teman2ku, aku jadi terharu.

Hari ini, kali kedua aku akan bertambah usia di negeri orang. Siangnya aku ada presentasiku paperku, ya meskipun belum ada hasilnya karena masih belum beres ma data presentasi dah dijadwalin. Aku dapet masukan2 yang sangat konstruktif, dan aku sangat menghargai itu semua. Selse presentasi aku diskusi dan ngebahas draftku dengan pembimbing, 1,5 jam aku di ruangannya. Duh, rasanya kepala ini penuh sama segala macam hal yang harus aku kerjain supaya paperku selse.

Sampe kamar lagi, aku belum bisa konsen ngerjain apa2. Masih berusaha paham dengan apa yang baru didiskusiin. Suamiku ngirim sms jam 7 malam CET alias 12.00 WIB, “Selamat Ulang Tahun” dari Ayah, Ody dan keluarga di Jakarta. Kali ini ngirimnya tepat banget, ga kecepetan. Makasih ya Sayang, aku minta dido’ain supaya aku bisa bersabar dan terus berusaha di sini.  

Mulai agak malem, setelah makan malem, baru aku mulai bisa tune-in untuk ngeliat2 lagi data2ku dan berusaha ngerjain apa yang bisa aku pahami. Entah kenapa malem ini belum juga jam 12 tapi koq udah ngantuk yah. Kulihat ponsel, ternyata ada sms dari Adek, nanyain gimana presentasinya tadi. Ga lama masuk sms dari Helen sahabatku sejak TK (Helen ini ultahnya sama loh sama Ody), “Selamat ultah, love you sis” gitu katanya.

Jam 12 kurang 5 menit aku mutusin tiduran dulu karena mataku capek dan kepalaku mulai sakit. Ga lama kedengaran suara koridor kamarku di-buzz. Roomieku, Herni ngebukain pintu, seolah2 dia emang lagi nungguin tamu. Eh gak lama sambil aku terkantuk2, koq kayak ada suara orang2 nyanyi. Ealah, ternyata Kay dan Adrian dateng sambil nyanyi “Happy Birthday” trus Roomie ngeluarin kue taart dari kulkas.  Kay langsung menghampiri aku di tempat tidur sambil ngasih kado n cium pipi kiri kanan.

Jadi deh aku bangkit dari tempat tidur setelah disodorin jilbab kaus sama Kay soalnya teman2ku jadi pada kumpul. Ga lama Mirna dateng, dan ga lama lagi Ita dan Lorenc juga. Ya udah jadi deh, malam2 kita ngobrol mulai dari soal research paper, travelling, sampai presentasi, sambil makan kue taart tiramisu tentunya.  Jam 1.00 dini hari lewat baru pada bubaran. Hatiku berharap teman2ku sungguh2 ngasih doa yang tulus untuk aku. Semoga… Terima kasih teman2. Kalian udah ngebuat hidupku di sini lebih berwarna, mengajarkan aku lebih banyak tentang persahabatan dan hidup, menemani dan menghibur di saat susah.

Makasih juga buat keluarga di rumah, Bapak, Ibu, Mas Agus, Adek, Yugo, Suamiku, dan Ody yang udah ngasih semangat, bantuan, pengertian, dan doa selama ini. Semoga insyaAllah aku bisa menjadi orang yang lebih baik, lebih sabar, dan lebih bermanfaat untuk semuanya. Amin. Alhamdulillah.

 P.S.: Ini baru ditambahin belakangan, foto2 pas tengah malem kemarin waktu teman2ku dateng ke kamar untuk ngucapin selamat ulang tahun dan malam ini waktu kita makan malem bareng di Istana.

Alhamdulillah, Mba Agnes has just been launching her new and first) book recently. Find more about it here.  Congrats Mba Agnes! May I also have the courage to follow your path one day.

It’s been quite a while since the last backsound I embedded on this page turned off. A new refresment on my personal page will be good I think, especially when it can spur some motivations and spirit, not only for me but for those visiting my page as well.  Therefore, I decided to present myself and you my dear readers a spirited song here.  

For those who already have a speaker and sound card built up on their computer, as soon as they load my page up, I’m sure they can right away listen to my new backsound. And for those not having a speaker built on and eager to listen as well, you better quickly find the nearest and reachable head/earphone then just plug them in. Enjoy, “Alhamdulillah”!  

P.S.: Some of you might have known or at least heard of this song, a collaboration of them and her.

A friend of ours writes something, a piece of her thought about us, Indonesians who lives, study, and has become a part of the family here in the ISS The Hague. Once, I made a post about us (me and my friends) though we have had known each other quite a long before the dinner, and ever since I think we have begun to understand and learn more about each other and our characters. Yes, for us as Indonesian, The Pinoy has already become a part of our real family here, we’ve been sharing stories, beds, trips, dinners, birthdays, and some ups and downs together. For me, I myself think I by living here it also makes me learn to know and understand everyone’s character and habit even more. You can check her  thought  here. I could only say, ”You are welcome, Cates. You’ve also made our lives more colorful here.”     

It’s been almost 4 weeks since the study break has coming. Actually though it is a study break or recess, we are here quite busy reading, writing, and preparing our research paper. Some of us are leaving to collect the data, do the survey needed for their paper, visit their family and relief some yearning, and some (including me) are staying here, try to manage themselves to be able to concentrate with the paper, data, and so many mixed feelings.

Being stay here, which it was made based on my consideration to be able to focus and use my time efficiently on my research, really requires my own commitment in working seriously on the paper. I meet my supervisor regularly once a week, talk about the kind of model and data I may use. But surprisingly, I’m still not be able to write anything yet since my research design at late July. I just don’t know why, I still feel like I have to read and understand first all those things before I can start to write something for my paper. Yes, I can’t deny that sometimes I just feel like disoriented, stressed, and puzzled by those things, and thus start to feel like I don’t know where to go next, what to start first, and eventually don’t want to do anything have connection with my theses. When these feelings comes I just prefer to do another things such as swimming at weekend, going for a movie at the cinema, shopping at open market, cooking, etc.

Sometimes no matter how hard I try to escape for a while from my work, I just can’t forget about it. The image of working on my theses keep flying around in my mind, makes me hard to have proper sleep. Sometimes I feel, even two weeks has already felt like eternity when we are stuck with something. Still, on those desperate and hard times, I feel like “the lights” keep shining on me, which makes me preserve my motivation to at least read the journals and books (though only for few pages).

Today, after two weeks of writing nothing and giving myself a peace and time to think properly without rush for my research, I had a feeling like “I have to start writing now”. Thank God, today I could finish my Chapter 1 and now I’m working on my Chapter 2. Though some of us perhaps have already been working on their Chapter 3, I feel like, “Oke, so what?” I have set my own pace and I am going to work for it as my schedule.  I have started to work on my data couple of weeks ago, it’s still undone yet but at least I already have something in my mind to figure it out, to make it work for my research paper. Luckily, the supervisor here is very welcome, almost everytime. Anytime, I feel like stuck and have a bunch of questions in my head, I just feel relief that I can always discuss it with my supervisor. Not to mention that my husband has always been there for me to support and give me strength everytime I feel desperate. The thought of coming home to my dearest sweethearts has also pumped me some energy to be tough and patient in coping with these times.

Now, I have set one week to work for my Chapter 2, I do hope and pray to Allah SWT for me having a strength, will, and quite an endurance in dealing with my theses. Ya Allah, please keep “the lights” shining on me, because I am going to start it now….

i feel like i have nothing to be shared these days, running out of inspiration maybe…:-) but what i’ve known for sure is that i really miss my family, my husband, my boy. this summer holiday i choose for not coming home, not like the rest of my friends here who chose to come back for a while to their beloved ones, and enjoy the holiday together. 

for me, it’s better postpone it later until end of this year. it’s neither ‘coz that i don’t want to see my family nor i don’t feel like i miss them. to be honest, i do miss them a lot, but i think i just want that our re-union will be the climax of our separation. i really want that by the time we shall re-unite again, i’ve done all my responsibility here of being a student, don’t have to think about marks, courses, research anymore. a finish is just a finish.

now, i have to start to concentrate in doing my research, since last monday my supervisor has approved my design. and ever since my supervisor knows that i’m going to stay here during the holiday, he wants us to meet at least once a week. like today, i think i have an appointment to meet him in the afternoon to talk about the data. do you know that though my supervisor is a real dutch man, me and my friends call him “bang bert”. we give him this special name without him knowing about it. if ever he knew about this perhaps his only reaction would be a smile on his face. he knows and understand bahasa indonesia, since he did his 6-months ph.d research in indonesia. 

ok, that’s all that i can think i can share, please pray for me and don’t stop give support for me to survive doing all these things. for ody and his daddy, i miss you and pray for you both always. may Allah SWT give us strength and patience to hold on until the right time for us to be re-unite again.